Numerous studies in places like the Harvard Business Review find that the way people feel at work profoundly influences how they perform. Keeping this in mind, it is safe to say that the way we manage so-called failure will also profoundly influence our level of achievement.
We want to redefine failure and shift our point of view to a more supportive perspective. We have all come to recognize failure to be the disguise of a great teacher and a necessary step to achieve greatness, make a difference, and enhance performance.
I can remember my early days as a Silva instructor. I was full of passion to make a difference and change the world (I still am) and yet I lacked the business skills necessary to support my Vision. I cannot even remember how many mistakes – so-called failures I made. I nearly bankrupted myself. I found myself loading trucks for UPS from 4 AM to 9 AM and then working as a waiter in a restaurant from 11 AM to 10 PM just to pay the bills and subsidize my passion for Silva. It was not fun at all.
I eventually came to realize that I was getting closer and closer to become a full time, top producing, prospering Silva Instructor. I feel very blessed and appreciative for this accomplishment.
The lesson here is that we are in a constant state of flux, strategizing, implementing and adjusting along the way. It is much easier to make corrections once we have some momentum. It is inevitable to make mistakes along the way. Nobody is 100%. It is not a problem to fail. It is, however tragic to not learn the lessons from the mistakes or so-called failures.
And as Lao Tzu once said,
“Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved.”
There are many factors that cause the fear of failure and make it difficult to overcome failure. I would suggest that when we have unrealistic expectations and strive for Perfection, we are doomed to experience shame-based, toxic emotions of shame, and guilt resulting in us feeling less than deserving of success. This leads to low Self-Esteem and greatly weakens the Attractor Factor to create the life of our design. The net result is procrastination and thinking small.
It is important to remember that no one is perfect and there is no such thing as perfect. We are just not wired for perfection. Science teaches us that even the universe is continually changing, correcting and growing. Psychiatrists and Psychologists offices are overcrowded with people suffering from guilt and shame due to the unrealistic expectation of Perfection. Business and production stalls as a result of the inevitable reaction of small-mindedness and procrastination due to the fear of failure when people get stuck in this trap of Perfection.
How to transform failure into an opportunity to grow and transform the fear into hope.
FIRST, you’ll want to shift your perspective and acknowledge right here and now that S……(Stuff) happens. Even the most fortunate of men and women experience occasional setbacks, so-called failures. Some of these life events are NOT within our control and surprisingly many are. The one thing that you and I have absolute control of is our viewpoint and interpretation of life’s events. Psychologists call this the “Point of Power”. So reframe your attitude about failure.
How? The SECOND step – embrace the fact that you are not perfect and are bound to make some errors along life’s journey. It is not personal and when the s…. hits the fan, it is feedback that you need to evaluate, assess the situation and make a change in your approach.
THIRD: Celebrate and appreciate the failure! That’s right you heard me correctly. Keep affirming that with each and every mistake, you are one step closer to realizing your goal. Express gratitude for the feedback and learn from it.
FOURTH: Remember that no one does it alone. Seek help, advise, support, training and maybe even take someone you admire who is achieving big time, to lunch. We become just like the people we spend most of our time with. So be more selective of who and where you spend your time. It is called modeling and is a very powerful tool that even neuro-science will verify.
And most importantly, Believe in yourself. I know, everybody tells us to believe.
Well, it is true and the surest way to build your belief in yourself is, to begin with small, tangible goals and then celebrate and appreciate the small success.
These small baby steps will lead to even grander accomplishments. This action will strengthen your Courage Muscle. You do this by planning, strategizing, research, hire a coach, and attend a live seminar with like-minded people.
I also want you to look in the mirror and affirm… ”I love and accept myself, just the way I am and I choose to get better.” Another powerful affirmation is… “I deserve to succeed.” AND “I AM ENOUGH”!
I also want you to integrate this into your daily dynamic meditation practice like you learned in Silva Seminars. Add the visual component to these affirmations by creatively visualizing yourself making constant progress and future pace it. That is imagine your life vision continually expanding, as the weeks, months and years pass. And FEEL IT.
In closing, remember the words…”Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
Make a commitment to yourself right here and now that you deserve to succeed. Failure is not an option. Perhaps, you remember Jerry C. Bostick, the NASA flight controller who prevented a disaster when he reportedly stated during the Apollo 13 damaged mission that Failure is not an option. Let’s bring them back to earth!
SUMMARY OF THE TECHNIQUE
- At night before going to sleep review the day.
- Appreciate and feel gratitude for any progress made.
- Acknowledge any mistake, error, screw up and GIVE YOURSELF
PERMISSION not to be perfect.
- Rewind back to the mistake as if you were there now and tell yourself, I’m better than that. This is not how I want to be. Then be like a movie director and imagine and/or visualize the way you prefer to be.
BETTER & BETTER